Identity Crisis[?]

Well, it took me more than a year to write again something out from my heart. With the past few months of rollercoaster faith and trials the last resort would be me pouring out on digital paper all my thoughts.

 

I could write about the condition of my heart, how God had made my vision clear or the promises that He is in store for me. I can have the liberty to break down such into writing as writing itself is one of my fortes if not neglected by the subtle qualms of vision; that said, I can say is that writing is not my identity.

 

You see, given the time that I reflect back what I missed and things to ponder on. What caught more attention than my misgivings in life and the focuses that I need to heed is my identity. To which, to whom and to what am I identifiable?

 

What is an identity? Webster tells us that it is the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. If so, then I a identifiable with a lot of things!

 

I can be identifiable with writing, sure it shaped my college life through campus journalism but I’ll admit it is not my identity. Drawing, CAD, layouts, graphics, multimedia… you name it, computers and gadgets… yes, some of you may know me with that but it’s not my identity.

 

People used to call me, ‘Makoy’ the nickname I wanted people to call me when I was on the third year of High School. Other nicknames that stuck too were Maki, Mak and just plain, Mark Allen. But for the name Makoy, our youth pastor suggested that I halted such name usage and opted to the more simpler, Mark. Such justification was that people would not take me seriously as it is a tad homonym to kenkoy and synonymous in forms as well. Before I finish this paragraph; I strongly disagree that you reader would call me in that name. EVER. It may seem that I was trying to change an identity (a matter of fact, some profess that the name does not carry the destiny of the person – I beg to differ), let’s just leave it at that… and guess what, my name is just a piece of my identity — for identication. It’s not my identity.

 

While we are at the subject of names, surely the last names have a massive presence of identity in it. Think of a prominent name in the country and you’ll associate them with wealth, prestige and success. While being proud in carrying my father’s name and thankful to God with such wonderful parents, society in general emphasizes the weight of every surname given to any child. It will matter to anyone no matter how short or long, confusing or simple surnames we have. I carry a decent surname in society’s eyes and is proud of jotting it down on forms but that too is not my identity.

 

Lastly, I too am identifiable with the people I know. “Ah, ikaw yung anak ni ganito di ba?” “Ahhh… so kaopisina mo pala si ganyan…”  ”Oooh, ayan yung ex ni ano di ba?”

 

 

 Yes, I am identified with the relationships I have now, past or present and the coming handshakes and referrals. It’s easy to brandish “identity” with another person. I’d notice people refer to others“Ay si ano, sila ni ano di ba?”

Stereotypes pop in here and there because people impose identity, change their personality to suit a good identity… a good name. Identity crisis.

 

As I seem to diverge to the inherent pangs of society, on how some have lost the grasp of reality into stirring a chastised view of misidentity. Let me conclude with one thing that I quite know of the past 7 years and that He reminded me of recently; that my identity is in Christ Jesus.

 

Yes, people may identify me, “ex ka ni ganito”… “ah, dati ka nang ganyan eh”, “oh, yun trabaho mo?”. People can identify me with the tone of my voice, my age, the way I decide, the way I walk, … but I know, in me… It’s not with the people I hang out with nor my achievements… It’s not by what I have done… but on what Jesus did (Romans 8:1)… it’s all about Jesus, that is my identity.

 

And part of it is the promise of being a new creation. (2 Cor 5:17) The change that is inside flourishing out.

 

I cannot post every verse to ellaborate my identity in Christ. But here’s a helpful link: http://crossinglouisville.com/2009/05/03/our-identity-in-christ/

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